In a mutually satisfying friendship, both friends talk and both friends listen, usually to an equal degree.He is a skilled, attentive listener. When a friend talks and reveals ideas or feelings, he/she is expecting shared information in return.The person he is listening to feels a sense of communication. When the talk is not equal, the friend talking feels as if the listener is uninterested. You can grow more friends with your ears and with your eyes than with your mouth. After your next conversation, test your ability to benefit from listening to that conversation. In fact, the friend who is always the listener is really playing the role of a counselor, not that of friend.Analyze and ask yourself: What did I learn from my friend. Anytime you have been talking for more than a minute or two without participation from the person you are talking to, you are lecturing, bossing, or putting your friend in the role of a counselor. What did I learn about my friend. People talk for many reasons. Did anyone interrupt. And people don't talk for just as many reasons. What questions should I have asked. Why Talk. What questions should I have answered more thoroughly. People talk to extend themselves to another, to accept responsibility for the growth of the relationship, and to share ideas or feelings with someone else. Was I absolutely certain I understood everything. Good, rich conversation is always available for friends and lovers. Did I ask for clarification. Why Not Talk. Did I practice acknowledgment. People don't talk for a variety of reasons. Did my friend practice acknowledgment. One person may be shy. Were both parties attending. Another may not know what to say in a particular situation such as the death of a relative. Was the conversation balanced. The timing may be off. Did anyone keep changing the subject. A night owl may seldom talk in the morning. Did anyone get angry. A friend reacting to stress may be temporarily mute. Did anyone appear sad. Non-talking can be used as a defense, as manipulation of another, or even as punishment. Was everyone paying attention. And last, but not least, talking can be a lot of work. What will I do different in my next conversation. But friendship is a lot of work as is anything worth having. The ability to listen is a skill that can be improved with use. How to Talk.This skill can and will improve your friendships" . Be excited. People who talk enthusiastically and with vocal animation are listened to more often by everyone. Be Sensitive. Be sensitive to the needs of your friend. Diffuse defensiveness by using ""I"" statements rather than ""you"" statements. Saying ""I feel upset when I have to wait,"" is less threatening than saying ""You're always late"" And when friends talk to you, show gratitude for their confidences. ""Thank you for sharing that with me"" is the language of friends. Friends Talk Appropriately. Make certain your subject is appropriate to the situation. For example, you would not disclose your exciting new promotion while your friend was telling you about her mother's terminal illness Other situations are not so easily read, however. ...

They are built slowly, slowly, slowly... Yet, nothing can add more to your life than having truly intimate friends. Every month you bail him/her out.""Just friends"" is a goal worth pursuing! Friendships can take up to three years to build! And building friendships is much the same for children as adults, but a bit quicker! Self-Disclosure builds friendships. Self-disclosure is usually the first step in establishing a confidant. How much is enough.And it is scary because of the potential rejection factor. And how much is too much.Do it anyway! Start by sharing a few private thoughts and/or feelings with one person you might want for a close friend. What fosters self-esteem and self-reliance for the other person plus mutual respect for both of you while avoiding the pitfalls of dependency.If the person is responsive, he/she will usually share a personal thought or two with you. All relationships need limits whether they are friendships, sibling relations, mate/lovers, business relations, etc. If he/she is not responsive to your overtures, don't think of this as a rejection.People may be non-responsive for reasons of their own or merely as a perception of yours. On some level, all limit setting means saying ""no.Nevertheless, they can't be rejecting you because they don't even know you yet. Listening and acknowledging builds friendships. "" However, it is usually a qualified nay that says what, where, when, and under what circumstances you will give or not give to another person. Often when your child, lover/partner, or friend tells you a story or voices a complaint, he/she is just asking for acknowledgment. If you have long-term feelings of resentment, anger, manipulation, being treated as unimportant, etc. This does not mean that he/she wants agreement or compliance; it merely indicates a desire to be heard and understood. , you probably need to set some limits in your relationship. Try these three steps to acknowledgment: 1. There are five steps to limit setting: 1.Repeat back. Choosing to set limits. 2. You will tolerate a difficult relationship situation just as long as you choose to tolerate it.Don't invalidate. You are the one choosing to set boundaries in place. 3. 2.Don't try to change. Identify the source of your feelings. 4. It often takes some real soul-searching on your part to figure out the source of your anger or resentment.Don't problem solve. 3. Many conflicts in your personal relationships can be avoided if you will take the time to acknowledge other's feelings and points of view. Decide where to set the limits.For more information about acknowledgement, click here. " . Think about the entire situation. Consider your time, emotions, and means. Then consider whether you are helping the other person or merely allowing them avoid or postpone his/her own problem solving. Aim to do something to help the other person without taking on the whole problem. 4. ...

The good news is that making an eco friendly lifestyle change is easy it benefits everyone (including the environment), and it helps you save money. However, not all freshmen live in the dorms.This ideology can be applied to the home, office, and even university settings. Some move straight into apartments, condos, or houses.Just because one leaves home for college doesn't mean that they can't still go green. Go Green on Campus One way you can be more eco friendly while away at college is to ride a bike around campus instead of driving. In College Roommates Part II, I will discuss my experiences living with roommates in an apartment.Traffic congestion is something that all colleges and universities have in common. Not all are good, but overall apartment life in 100 times better than being in a dorm.This means that not only is riding a bike better for the environment, but you will also save a lot of gas money when by chosing an alternative means of transportation. I moved into my first apartment in August of my sophomore year.Even if the weather is a problem or you don't like biking, using public transportation is still better than driving everywhere. Another eco friendly idea is to recycle as much and as often as possible. I decided to find a place with a friend (we’ll call him Mike) I have known for years.This is another one of those things that all colleges and universities have in common: tons of paperwork! Especially at the end of the semester when you have loads of notes, papers, reports, etc. We asked several of our other high school friends to live with us, but no one was available.lying around. We drastically searched for two more roommates.More often than not, recycling is readily available on campus, so it's just a matter of making the effort to not simply throw everything away. You can also go green on campus by using a coffee mug and/or a refillable water container. We wanted to live in a four bedroom apartment because of the social atmosphere, but mostly because it is cheaper than living in a two bedroom.One of the staples of college life is caffeine, caffeine, and more caffeine, so it's important to use a mug or flask instead of a styrofoam cup. We eventually found two guys to live with us.The same goes for water bottles. " . They happened to live in the dorms with Mike, so they were friends of his but total strangers to me. I was not worried one bit. After living with Kraut in the dorms, nothing could be worse, after all, in the apartment I would have my own room and own bathroom. Apartments are so much nicer than dorms. You get your privacy back (well most of it), you get more space, and you get a better sense of independence. I had my own desk and my own computer. I had my own mini fridge in my bedroom and my own dresser. The only things we had to share were things in the living room. We chose to stay in one of the more social apartment complexes known for parties and fun times. We had an already furnished apartment that included all utilities and cable T. V. ...

By entering college, you will face new situations that would be extremely different from any you have previously met. . The first thing and the most obvious is that money is going to be vital, so make sure you pay your essentials before spending for enjoyment. The majority of students live in shared accommodations in their college life. Apart from having to find a place to eat and sleep, you will also need to learn how to manage your finances, learn new social skills, form new friends and engage in a new form of thinking. Because this may be the first time they share space with non-family members, this is the time when college may either become enjoyable or hellish. Here are 5 things to bear in mind in order to your make college life much easier. If you can develop a boundary with your roomies, your success is guaranteed. Adapt Fast Perhaps the first problem you will encounter is the substitution of the lecture instead of a normal class recitation to which you were already used to in high school. Make sure you have the time to study for your exams undisturbed and then you can enjoy your new college life. Lectures require that you develop a new way of learning. Although you cannot change people around you, as long as you clean up after yourself, your life will be much easier. In this new college life you will meet lots of new people, but don't let this affect your relationship with your family or those back home. Why. Remember that you had a life before college and you will have one after it as well. Because the mental processes involved in a class oral recitation are different from those used in listening to a lecture. Also, keeping the relationships with your friends from outside the college life can be a form of relaxation when your college life gets to be too much. There aren't many rules that teach you how to settle into college life but you have to give it a chance. With a lecture system, the study materials may not be focused or limited to your textbook syllabus. Don't rush back home every time you run into some difficulties because then you will find it harder to adapt in real life as well as in college life. A lecturer will basically let his knowledge flow freely. Also, the best parts of college life happen on weekends, so don't miss them. College life can be sometimes so exciting that you won't remember the most important things: to eat and sleep well and to take care of yourself. New college students will find it a big problem because the materials may at first look unorganized. You should enjoy college but don't forget to rest and concentrate on your studies and exams. " . As soon as the words have left the mouth of the lecturer, the materials will stop to be accessible to you. Because of this, you need to develop a unique mental attitude and unique mental habits. If you are lucky, some colleges will store the copy of the lecture in the library should you need to listen to it again. However, don't dwell on it. ...

The common wisdom in both countries about the other is a bit like descriptions of Jupiter: massive (China in people, America in power), enormous gravitational pull (markets, culture), and full of dangerous gases (pollution from China, political hot air from the U. Going through the process of being a college student can be a mountain of fun; however, there are steps you must take to make the transition from your college graduation to experiencing real life smoother. S.You will learn tips for planning your college exit and conquering the real world upon graduation from college. If you are a high school student who wants to attend college, it would be in your best interests to seek advice pertaining to what you should study in college. ).Go to your high school guidance counselor's office and take an aptitude test to discover the career areas you would be a strong fit for. Once a university accepts you, choose a major that highly interests you and fits your skills. What makes China so much like another planet isn’t that China is actually so alien, but rather the distance between them perceived by both sides.Take an abundance of courses that represent your major and the requirements you must meet to graduate. China is, for so many Americans, so far away as to be an abstract concept, and vice versa for Chinese peoples perceptions of America.Before signing up to take some classes that are not required, consider whether they will teach you things and skills you can use to help you get a better grasp of different things in the world and place you on the path to becoming well-rounded and living a better life. Try to work a part-time job while you are in college. To illustrate, check out these surveys (disclaimer: never believe surveys): The first comes (via ESWN) from the Chinese newspaper Global Times.It is important to do this to help pay for college, reduce the amount of money you spend on student loans and earn the opportunity to have an adequate savings waiting for you at graduation time. Handle your finances very carefully. Specifically, item #4: Q.It is extremely important to reduce the amount of money you spend and deposit a good deal of money into your bank account. Which of these attributes affect the international image of China negatively.I would be struggling more financially than I am now if I had not saved up thousands of dollars while working my way through college. Reduce the amount of debt you incur and end up being obligated to pay back. 52%: Corruption of certain government officials 44%: Poor quality and fakery in products 33%: Environmental pollution 23%: Work safety accidents 22%: Uncivilized behavior of Chinese people 19%: Human rights problems 12%: Lack of freedom of speech 6%: Lack of progress in developing medical care system 6%: An unjust government 6%: Urban traffic congestion Some of these results mirror what Chinese respondents to a 2008 Pew Global Attitudes Survey said ranking problems facing China, most notably corruption (39% very big).Pay back as much money on your student loan balance as you can to avoid having to pay back more money later as a result of your balance increasing through the interest your loan carries. ...